Welcome to Mostly Dating, a newsletter designed to help you transform your dating life and relationships. I believe that every aspect of your well-being impacts your relationships (& vice versa!)—and I’m all about living a (mostly) balanced life.

9 questions to ask about the future early in a relationship

• What do you envision for the next 6 months of our relationship?

• What is your communication style? Do you like talking things out in the moment or do you need time to think when you’re upset?

• What is your process for making big decisions?

• Who in your life do you most want your partner to be close with?

• If we were to break up, what do you think it would be for?

• Where do you picture yourself living long term?

• What are your dealbreakers in a relationship? What are your boundaries?

• What are your financial goals for the future? (What are you saving for, where do you like to save vs. where you like to spend?

• What’s something you like about our relationship that you hope never changes?

5 dates to bring you closer in a relationship

One study performed by the University of Oxford based on 2,500 couples found that those who participate in activities and/or games together are nearly 70% more likely to stay together.

Here’s why:

• It builds trust and empathy, which strengthens any relationship

• It raises levels of oxytocin (the “love hormone”), which is associated with building trust, attraction, attachment, and a deeper bond

• Physical activity boosts endorphins, so you’ll both be in a better mood and you’ll associate that mood with each other.

• Seeing your partner motivated can help build attraction.

• Achieving something together improves communication and creates a deeper connection and bond.

• It helps you get to know each other better by bringing you into a new situation.

• It builds familiarity/comfort by allowing you to stop overthinking and just be yourself and live in the moment.

Ready to play the right kind of games together? Try these:

• Pickleball

• A pool hall

• An arcade or a bar with games (I love Slate in NYC)

• Escape The Room

• Dancing

• Go for a hike

👀 Want more? Keep an eye on my Instagram this week for a full list of activities for couples to try together at every stage of the relationship.

Reader Q&A:

First things first: I’m so sorry this happened. People who do these types of things have a lot of work to do on themselves—and it’s no reflection of you. Ultimately, we can’t control other peoples’ actions. What we can control is our own decisions.

I would personally never give a blanket about of time you “should” wait before sleeping with someone new, but I do think behavior like this person’s is the reason why I recommend waiting until you have a better reason the person and what you both want.

There are also so many emotions tied to sex that can make it very difficult to decipher how you actually feel about the person vs. how you feel about having sex with them. The more time you spend with this person before sleeping together, the better sense you will get of how you feel about them without fogging up your emotional goggles.

The silver lining with this situation is that you found out this guy isn’t worth your time way sooner than you might have if you waited. So now you can move on and focus on the people who do deserve your time!

👀 8 early signs a relationship will last

Want to be featured (anonymously) in a future send? Submit your dating/relationship related question here.

This week on the pod:

Episode 205. How To Avoid Future Tripping & What To Do If You Were Too Clingy

what we talk about:

• what is future tripping?

• how to avoid creating a false sense of intimacy early on

• how much messaging is too much before a date & in the early dating stages

• how to voice boundaries around texting early in dating

• how soon to sleep together

• what to do when you were clingy and then they ghosted

• is it a red flag if you rarely argue?

& more!

*Anyone who leaves a rating and review on the podcast this week gets a special $5 treat from me. Just reply to this email with a screenshot of your review!