Welcome to Mostly Dating, a weekly newsletter designed to help you transform your dating life and relationships. I believe that every aspect of your well-being impacts your relationships (& vice versa!)—and I’m all about living a (mostly) balanced life.

How to not lose yourself in a relationship 📝 

I recently posted a list of 7 habits of happy, healthy, long-lasting couples and it got me thinking about one of my favorite topics: Independence.

Everyone recharges in their own way, but I personally thrive on alone time. So much so that I avoided relationships for years. But I’ve learned that a great relationship has a balance of shared and separate interests.

In fact, research shows maintaining a life and your own hobbies/passions outside of your relationship can actually improve your connection. Plus, alone time encourages healthy boundaries and helps improve your sense of self, self-worth, and individuality.

The secret sauce? 🍝 Knowing how to prioritize yourself and finding a partner who supports your goals and passions and encourages you to maintain that sense of self.

A few ways to maintain your independence in a relationship:

• Be upfront about your need for time to yourself. Something along the lines of “I love spending a lot of time together but I also need some alone time to do the things that help me show up as my best self.”

• Find a new hobby, join a club, class, etc. *I have a post with hobby ideas on my feed &  if you reply to this email I can send you my full list with 50+ hobbies to try

• Maintain your own friendships. Plus, encourage your partner to keep up with their own social life & passions.

Self-care corner:

It’s amazing how a little self-care can change your whole perspective on dating!

And when you start to neglect self-care, you won’t show up as your best self in your relationship.

My current go-to methods of self-care:

• A long walk with a good podcast

• Sessions with my red light mask and sauna blanket

• Time outside with a great book (currently reading Expiration Dates by Rebecca Serle)

• A sweaty workout with Sami Clarke on FORM

Reader Q&A:

Ah, crazy families. Introducing your partner to your family always brings a layer of nerves—and that can definitely be amplified if you have insecurities about your family.

First, remember everyone’s family has their quirks. Your partner is with you because of who you are, and in many (not all!) cases that has a lot to do with where you came from.

If you’re close with your family and you’re looking for something long term, of course you want your partner to fit in and get along with everyone—so let’s set them up for success.

Here are a few things that will help:

• Prep your partner. Give them the highlights on each person they’re going to meet. Fill them in on family dynamics, traditions, etc.

• Tell your family about your partner, too. Hopefully they’ll know a little bit about your partner already, but make sure to give a few details before about common interests, etc.

• Take the pressure off. Okay, so it’s impossible to take all the pressure off—but do your best not to put too much weight on this first meeting. If you’re in it for the long haul, they’ll have all the time in the world to create a bond with your family.

• Be present in the moment. To avoid worrying how it’s going, stay present and just focus on what’s happening.

• Start small. Meeting everyone at once can be overwhelming. If possible, bring them around just a few people at a time to ease in.

• Don’t leave them to fend for themselves. BUT, let them speak for themselves.

So, to answer your question: Yes, you should give him a heads up—but don’t stress too much!

👀 keep an eye on IG this week, I’ll be sharing more tips for introducing your partner to the family.

Want to be featured (anonymously) in a future send? Submit your dating/relationship related question here.

Last week on the pod:

Episode 200. Friends & Family with Different Relationship Timelines + Working While Mom-ing with Lucie Fink

what we talk about:

• a brief rundown of Lucie's career and why she recently decided to start her podcast, The Real Stuff

• Lucie's relationship with her now husband, dating back to high school, college, and moving to NYC

• Maintaining independence and a sense of self in a relationship

• How we were both impacted by having a twin

• Friends and family members with different dating timelines

• How sex changes when you move in together

• Dividing responsibilities between parents

• Balancing motherhood with working full time

& more!