Welcome back to Mostly Dating, a newsletter designed to help you transform your dating life and relationships.

Every Friday, we’ll dive deeper into reader questions and various dating, relationship, and self-care tips.

Want to be suggest a topic or submit a question (anonymously) for a future send? Send me an email here.

How to flirt

In my opinion, flirting 100% the most fun part of dating. Even if a date doesn’t turn into a relationship, it’s always going to be more fun if there’s some flirting involved (as long as it goes both ways, of course).

But what I’ve found is that a lot of people have either forgotten how to flirt, or they’re too afraid to do it. So please take this as your sign to flirt a little more this summer.

Reminder: Flirting isn’t about being “smooth” (do people still use that word? lol) or having the perfect one-liner. It’s about being present, confident, and authentic. It’s reading their vibe and building connection through small, intentional actions.

Flirting 101:

🔥 Be more confident
Again, this doesn’t mean being the loudest in the room—it means feeling good in your skin. (👀 my post on how to be more confident)

💟 Stay present
The most magnetic people aren’t perfect. They’re in the moment. Instead of worrying how it’s going, notice how you’re feeling. Be curious, listen closely, and let the conversation flow. That grounded energy is attractive.

🎯 Be direct
A little mystery is fun, but directness is hot. If you’re enjoying yourself, say so. If you like their vibe or laugh or the way they explained something—tell them.
Bonus move: use their name while you're talking to them. It instantly builds connection.

⚖️ It should be a two-way street
Don’t be afraid to make the first move, but if they’re not returning the energy, it’s okay to pull back. Flirting should feel like a fun exchange.

👀 Use body language
Flirting is about energy. Face your body toward them. Mirror their gestures. Make eye contact, smile, let them see that you’re into them.

**the best advice I got recent from a follower: “during a moment of close proximity eye contact, look at their eyes, look at their lips, and back to their eyes.” Apparently this works like a charm when you want someone to kiss you 😘

💕 Find common ground
Flirting gets easier when you actually know something about them. Bring up shared interests, tease them about a funny opinion they shared, or joke about something you bonded over earlier.

🤚 Playful touch
A light, friendly hit if they tease you. A graze on their arm when you’re laughing. A quick touch on the back when you get up. These small gestures create closeness. Of course, always read the vibe first.

😈 Challenge them
Playful competition is an underrated flirting hack. Bet on who can guess the next song playing, challenge them to a game of pool, or say “I bet I could beat you at…” and see where it goes.

🤩 Give thoughtful compliments
Flirty compliments shouldn’t be over-the-top. But the right compliment goes a long way.
Compliment something unique you’ve noticed about them—it shows you’re paying attention. (👀 my post on compliments to give on early dates)

💬 Be a little vulnerable
Flirting doesn’t have to mean being perfect. Let them see your quirks. Laugh at yourself. Say what you’re actually thinking. That realness builds comfort—and attraction.

📱 Flirt between dates
Keep the chemistry going over text with light or bold energy:
– “When can I see you next?”
– “Still thinking about how good you looked last night.”
– “Kind of wish you kissed me on our last date…”
Or even something funny or self-aware: “I literally forgot what we were talking about because I got distracted by your smile.”

12 ways to make life more fun

This week was my birthday 🥳, which always has me in reflection mode. I had just gotten back from a relaxing vacation, but I didn’t really have elaborate birthday plans—and I was determined to make the day feel special.

A few things I did: switched up my environment (as simple as working from a coffee shop instead of my apartment), made a dinner reservation somewhere I’d been wanting to go (Emmett’s on Grove, if you’re in NYC!), wore an outfit a little more fun than my day-to-day leggings or jeans and T-shirt attire, bought myself a gift, and took a minute to actually catch up with people who came out of the woodwork to say HBD. I also had “get a cupcake or a slice of cake” on the list, but I haven’t checked that one off yet. I’m giving myself a week 😂.

OH, and I also made plans for the day after my birthday—because I always have post-birthday depression (pls tell me if this is just me).

Anyway, this all got me thinking: How can I make EVERY day more fun? Especially as we head into Summer, I feel like we could all stand to have a little more fun.

My working list for ways to make life more fun this summer:

🤍 romanticize your daily tasks (e.g. put on a cute outfit for your Target run)

🤍 start a silly weekly tradition (e.g. sunday solo date, no-scroll Saturday, compliment 3 people Friday, walk & talk Wednesday)

🤍 make spontaneous plans once a week (challenge yourself to do something that you didn’t have in yoru calendar at least one time per week)

🤍 spend more time outside than inside (okay, this one is really tough—but at least on the weekends)

🤍 go for a nighttime walk once a week (in a safe area!)

🤍 make a summer bucket list and start checking them off

🤍 say what you’re thinking more (this one is a little random, but what I mean is: catch yourself when you’re holding back a compliment for a stranger, or send the flirty text you’re overthinking, or tell a friend how much you value them)

🤍 learn something new

🤍 do something you wouldn’t have done one year ago

🤍 take one picture every day this summer and watch it as a slideshow in September (bonus if you do :02 video clips instead of photos!)

🤍 introduce yourself to at least one new person each week

🤍 say yes to plans you wouldn’t typically say yes to (don’t overdo this one!! Know when it’s better to say no)

I’m still workshopping this list! I’ll be making it into a post soon for Instagram so we can all join in together. Reply to this email with your ideas on how to make life more fun!

Reader Q&A:

I love this question because a lot of times people aren’t thinking about boundaries so early on in dating, but they can be so helpful in preventing “future tripping” (AKA getting caught up too fast”).

Here are a few tricks I’d use to stop myself from diving headfirst after just a few dates:

🖤 be mindful of how long your dates are (no need to set a time limit or have strict rules, but try to avoid excessively long dates early on)

🖤 intentionally spread out your early dates (ex: one per week) to avoid jumping into too much too soon

🖤 focus on really getting to know the person (not just inserting them into the vacant role of “boyfriend” or girlfriend” becuase you’re excited to be hitting it off)

🖤 keep up your own life outside of this person (intentionally make more plans with friends, carve out time for self-care, etc.)

🖤 set boundaries around communication and texting between dates (only text if there’s actually something you want to say, not just for the validation/response, don’t drop everything to reply immediately, don’t check your phone constantly)

🖤 never ever ever ever ever cancel plans with friends to see them

🖤 consider going slower physically

ALSO, make sure you’re paying attention to THEIR boundaries too. Sometimes we misread another person’s boundaries as inconsistency or mixed signals, when they might just be trying to take it slow as well.

👀 I also have a post with signs you need better boundaries.

Want to be suggest a topic or submit a question (anonymously) for a future send? Send me an email here.

This week on the pod:

Red Flags You Only See In Hindsight with Monica Danus of Love Is Blind

what we talk about:

• ​Monica's break from dating before going on the show

• ​Her experience in the pods (including her other connections we didn't see on-screen)

• ​Red flags she sees more clearly now + how it felt watching the show back

• ​Opening up about past trauma in a new relationship

• ​The tea on Monica's current relationship status

& more!

click here to listen.